Emille Lawrence

What is your origin story and how has your work-life journey led you to USF? What is your earliest memory of connecting to mathematics, or of when you knew you wanted to study and teach mathematics? 

Even when I was small, I knew I wanted to be a teacher. Both of my parents were teachers in our local school district. My mom became a guidance counselor when I was in late elementary school; my dad was a science teacher and then went on to run an alternative school. Both my parents were educators with MAs and were very proud of that. I went to work with them often, and seeing the classroom environment was a positive influence for me. 

So I knew I wanted to be a teacher and I liked math from a very young age. From as early as I can remember I was finding patterns in numbers: I’d zone in on license plates and try to make an equation from them. I’ve also always liked games. Math feels like play to me, it does not feel like work. It is a mystery I need to solve and I am the detective. I don’t get this feeling in other disciplines, but math has always just done it for me. My mom saw this, so the summer after 7th grade, she enrolled me in a science and math camp at Georgia Institute of Technology and drove me 30 miles every day to this camp. This was a testament to her commitment because she saw something in me. I studied math and chemistry, and this was a pivotal moment where I knew this was what I wanted to do. 

Fast forward to high school, I had excellent math teachers. Not everyone can say this, and so I know I am so fortunate. I am a product of public schools, and I can remember my 9th grade Algebra II teacher and the energy in the classroom was palpable. The vibe in the room was energetic and lively. I loved it. This bred an environment of learning, though it might not have seemed like it because there was a lot of noise, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I also had a great calculus teacher senior year, so by the time I got there I knew I wanted to major in math. 

I went to Spelman College in Atlanta and majored in math and minored in secondary education. I did my student teaching at North Atlanta high school and realized it wasn’t for me. I wasn’t going to be a HS teacher. Mrs. Pringle, the teacher, was great, but I realized I wasn’t ready for the students. Maybe because I was 21 and they were around 16 and I didn’t have the classroom chops, but I decided to go to grad school rather than enter the classroom immediately. I ended up at the University of Georgia, which was a great fit for me. Despite some hiccups (math is hard and I  moved from a small pond to a big ocean; small liberal arts to a flagship university), I made it through, graduated, and managed to get an awesome postdoc at UC Santa Barbara. I was there for three years and then got a job at CalPoly Pomona, but along the way, I met a man and we got engaged — he was in grad school at Berkeley. There was an opportunity to come to USF, so I took a leave from Cal Poly and came to USF for a year. Then we started a family and I resigned in order to stay here. This was 2011-2012. That is my origin story. 

Please share a classroom or teaching moment that you cherish.

As a math teacher, I feel that I am often very much down to business. We don’t get to have a lot of conversation that is not on-topic. This doesn’t mean it has to be dry, but it is usually technical. So I was having a hard time with this question. This summer, I was at a restaurant in Japantown, and I kept looking at our server. I felt like I had seen her somewhere. She eventually asked if I taught at USF, and I realized this was a former student from 2017-2018. I remembered her face, and she reminded me that I had given her a lot of grace at a time that she needed it. She’d had to leave school for a while due to a family crisis, and she was thanking me for understanding and being compassionate. All of the memories of her started flooding back, and this was a very proud moment because we as teachers sometimes don’t realize the small gestures that mean so much to our students. That was a very touching moment — when you receive that validation from students, it reminds you why you’re doing what you’re doing. 

How have your experiences with USF's BASE program impacted teaching and learning in your classroom?

Before working with BASE, I had never been exposed to the amount of need that students have. As teachers, we don’t see that. Teaching math, I’ve seen a student who I think is supposed to be on my class list but they are not registered? Sometimes students have a registration hold and ask to sit in on the class at the beginning of the semester. I was not properly connecting the dots regarding student need, as this is often a financial need. BASE has opened my eyes in a way that teaching in the classroom didn’t, as I see now how much students need help financially, just to take the classes they need. That was eye-opening for me. Simply getting to the point of starting to learn is an obstacle for so many students. This has been heavy. 

Directly for teaching, the BASE senior Black scholar capstone class has really opened my eyes to the wonderful things faculty are doing here. Each student has an advisor in their major, and it’s allowed me to see some of the great conversations that are happening. When I ask, “How was your last meeting with your advisor?,” I’m seeing how much people care, as we’ve asked faculty to do this voluntarily. It’s amazing how people have stepped up, and I’m so thankful and appreciative for this. In my own experience teaching, I’ve learned things that don’t come up in math, such as a literature review. I had to go and learn what this was. In math we do read and refer to other papers and the background of the problem, but we wouldn’t call it a literature review! 

What are some dreams and projects on your horizon with teaching or pedagogical strategies, within or beyond USF?

I want to be more vulnerable in the classroom. I want to really connect with students on a 1-1 level and have them understand that this is hard. People arent  born knowing this material.  Learning math takes time. I want them to know that, yes I have a PhD in math, and yes I can do hard problems, but that hasn’t always been the case. I’ve failed over and over, but I’ve also had successes and they will too. Failure is part of the process. Solving hard problems is like chipping away at a mountain, and the important part is to get back up and keep trying.. I want this part of myself to come through in my teaching. The 1-1 relationships with students make all the difference. I want to bring my whole self into the classroom. 

Can you share a bit about your journey as a woman of color in this field? 

I’m very fortunate to have had some really good mentors, formally and informally. I had an advisor in graduate school tell me I should think about doing something else when I didn’t pass a qualifying exam. I can’t imagine saying this to a student, but she said this to me. But I had a network — I was in the EDGE (Enhancing Diversity in Graduate Education) program. These people were a backbone of support, many of them are women of color, and it was crucial to have someone to talk to and to have my back, when the people who I trusted let me down and did not have confidence in my abilities. It would have been very easy to listen to her discouraging words, but thankfully I had people who were there to give me other advice. I found a new mentor who believed in me and showed me some grace so that I could keep going. That was my first experience like this, but I went from HBCU where everyone looked like me and had confidence in me, to this other environment where I met this person who didn’t believe in me. Yes, it’s been a hard road, and it takes a strong will to keep going. I wish it didn’t have to, but I can acknowledge that I’m very fortunate to have some good people around me. When voices of insecurity or doubt creep in, you need a cheerleading squad. 

Do you have any hobbies?

I love living in San Francisco! I like the music scene and food scene. My husband and I see a lot of live music. When we’re not shuffling children, we like to go to the SF Jazz Center, which is such a treasure. I also love to eat and drink! To have a good meal with good company is one of life’s greatest pleasures. I also like to run and work out at the Koret gym.