Am I in an Abusive Relationship?
- Warning Signs of Abusive Relationships
- USF Resources
- Additional Resources
Warning Signs of Abusive Relationships
Does your partner …
- Call you names, insult you, humiliate you, or continually criticize you?
- Act jealous, possessive, or as if you can’t be trusted although you have not cheated?
- Try to isolate you from family or friends?
- Monitor where you go and who you contact or spend time with?
- Forbid you from working or going to school?
- Make all of the decisions and/or expect you to ask permission for everything?
- Punish you by withholding affection?
- Threaten to hurt you, your children, your family, or your pets?
- Destroy things or threaten to do so to punish or intimidate you?
- Play mind games that make you doubt yourself or feel "crazy?"
- Blame you for their bad behavior or make excuses for their behavior?
- Tell you that your emotions and needs are invalid or unimportant?
- Shove, hit, kick, strangle, or otherwise physically hurt you?
- Force, pressure, guilt, or coerce you into performing sexual acts when you don't want to?
- Threaten to hurt or kill themselves in order to control you?
- Tell you that no one besides them will ever love you?
If any of these are patterns in your relationship, it's likely an abusive situation. This is common; you are not alone. See below for helpful resources.
If you are currently in imminent danger, please call USF Public Safety (if on campus) at (415) 422-2911 or call 911.
- CAPS: Brief therapy and other support and education; (415) 422-6352
- Title IX Office: Information, resources, and support around sexual assault, harassment, relationship violence, and stalking; (415) 422-4563
- University Ministry: Religious and spiritual support and counsel; (415) 422-4463
For Staff and Faculty
- CONCERN: The USF Employee Assistance Program (EAP) provides counseling and referrals; (800) 344-422
- Deputy Title IX Coordinator for Staff/Faculty: Diane Nelson, firstname.lastname@example.org, (415) 422-2441
- Bay Area Women Against Rape (BAWAR): 470 27th Street, Oakland; (510) 845-7273 (24-hour crisis line); (510) 430-1298 (office); Monday–Friday 9 a.m.–5 p.m.; provides counseling, advocacy, and education to survivors of sexual assault of ALL genders
- California Coalition for Youth Crisis Line: (800) 843-5200 (hotline); (916) 514-4464 (office); Sacramento-based organization with services for youth needing assistance and/or in crisis situations
- La Casa de Las Madres: (877) 503-1850 (24/7 hotline for adults), (877) 923-0700 (24/7 hotline for teens), (415) 200-3575 (24/7 text hotline); San Francisco–based domestic violence agency (see below for additional services)
- Loveisrespect: 24-hour phone, chat, and text services available; (866) 331-9474; text "loveis" to 22522; engages, educates, and empowers young people to prevent and end abusive relationships; trained advocates offer support, information, and advocacy to young people who have questions or concerns about their dating relationships; also provides information to families, friends, counselors, law enforcement, and others
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 799-SAFE (7233); (800) 787-3224 (TDD); http://www.thehotline.org
- Pathways to Safety International: (833) SAFE-833 (24/7 hotline); empowering American victims of interpersonal and gender-based violence when they are abroad
- RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline: (800) 656-HOPE (4673); advocates available for victims of sexual assault
- Riley Center 24-hour support line: (415) 225-0165; for those experiencing domestic violence (see below for additional services)
- San Francisco Women Against Rape: (415) 647-7273; provides peer counseling, support groups, advocacy, and education
- Women Organized to Make Abuse Nonexistent (W.O.M.A.N.), Inc.: (877) 384-3578 (24-hour hotline); provides information, education, support groups, and therapy to battered women in San Francisco and the greater Bay Area; offers a Latinx program in Spanish
Urgent Medical Care
If you need immediate medical attention related to a sexual assault and may wish to preserve evidence for future legal purposes and get connected to other support services, visit the Zuckerberg San Francisco General Emergency Department, 1001 Potrero Avenue, San Francisco. Medical services for clients who have been sexually assaulted are provided by a nurse practitioner or physician assistant forensic specialist from the Trauma Recovery Center/Rape Treatment Center TRC/RTC. Follow-up care for acute medical issues related to sexual trauma (within 5 days of assault) and other medical and mental health services are provided through the TRC/RTC, San Francisco General Hospital, 2727 Mariposa St., #100, San Francisco, CA 94110; (415) 437-3000; traumarecoverycenter.org/.
Off-Campus CounseliNG & Other Services
- Bay Area Women Against Rape (BAWAR): Provides counseling, advocacy, and education to survivors of sexual assault of ALL genders; 470 27th Street, Oakland; (510) 845-7273 (24-hour crisis line); (510) 430-1298 (office); Monday–Friday 9 a.m.–5 p.m.
- Community Overcoming Relationship Abuse (CORA): Information, support, and other resources for victims of intimate partner abuse; languages spoken: English and Spanish; (800) 300-1080 or (650) 312-8515 (crisis); (650) 259-1855 (legal services line for victims only); (650) 652-0800 (office); 2211 Palm Avenue, San Mateo
- Community United Against Violence (CUAV): Empowers LGBTQIA communities to transform violence and oppression; peer counseling and support groups for LGBTQIA people dealing with violence or abuse; 427 South Van Ness Avenue, San Francisco; leave a message at the Safety Line at (415) 333-4357; (415) 777-5500 (office)
- La Casa de las Madres: (415) 255-0165 (business line); 1269 Howard Street, San Francisco; support and various services and resources for victims of domestic violence; emergency shelter (see "Hotlines" section for 24-hour hotline info)
- Narika: Promotes women's independence, economic empowerment and well-being by helping survivors of intimate partner abuse and violence with advocacy, support, and education. Languages: South Asian languages; (800) 215-7308 (help-line message machine will return calls in 24 hours); (510) 444-6068 (office); Fremont
- Riley Center, St. Vincent De Paul Society: (415) 757-6595 (English), (415) 757-6490 (Spanish), 1175 Howard Street, San Francisco; services for those experiencing domestic violence, including emergency shelter, counseling, workshops, and advocacy
- San Francisco Women Against Rape: (415) 647-7273 (24-hour hotline); provides peer counseling, support groups, advocacy, and education
- Shalom Bayit: Fosters the social change and community response necessary to eradicate domestic violence in the Jewish community; information, counseling, and other resources for battered Jewish women; education and prevention; (866) SHALOM-7 (toll-free help line); (510) 451-8874 (office)
- STAND! For Families Free of Violence: Provides a spectrum of prevention, intervention, and treatment programs and enlists the efforts of local residents, partners, and institutions to stop domestic violence and child abuse; (925) 676-2845 (office); (888) 215-5555 (crisis line); locations in Antioch, Concord, and Richmond
- Trauma Recovery Center/Rape Treatment Center (TRC/RTC): 2727 Mariposa St., #100, San Francisco; (415) 437-3000; affiliated with San Francisco General Hospital; provides medical and mental health services for adult victims of sexual assault and services for adult survivors of trauma, assault, and loss
- Women Organized to Make Abuse Nonexistent (W.O.M.A.N.), Inc. - (877) 384-3578 (24-hour hotline); also provides information, education, support groups, and therapy to battered women in San Francisco and the greater Bay Area; offers a Latinx program in Spanish
Harassment, Digital Abuse, & Stalking RESOURCES
- Cards Against Harassment: A set of cards to give feedback to street harassers; available in English and Spanish
- Hollaback!: An organization that raises awareness and provides education about all forms of harassment and trains community organizers to start chapters and websites; San Francisco chapter: email@example.com; (571) 449-7326
- Stalking Resource Center: A partnership between the National Center for Victims of Crime and the U.S. Department of Justice Office on Violence Against Women; provides information and resources for victims of stalking; (202) 467-8700; Arlington, VA
- ThatsNotCool.com: A social media site educating about digital abuse and teen dating violence; teens ages 13 to 18 can become ambassadors to educate others
- San Francisco Police Department: Get assistance when your safety and well being are at risk and to report abuse or assault. Note: When calling 911 on a cellular phone near a highway, the call is connected to the California Highway Patrol (CHP) dispatch center; in other areas in San Francisco, the call will connect directly to SF Police dispatch. You can dial directly to SF dispatch at (415) 553-8090; emergency: 911; non-emergency: (415) 553-0123. You can also contact the Domestic Violence/Elder Abuse Response Unit at (415) 553-922-5850, Bryant Street, Room 454 San Francisco; firstname.lastname@example.org
Legal Help, Advocacy, & Policy
- Bay Area Legal Aid: Provides access in the Bay Area to the civil justice system through quality legal assistance regardless of a client’s location, language, income, or disability; (800) 551-5554/(888) 330-1940
- California Coalition Against Sexual Assault (CALCASA): Provides leadership, vision, and resources to rape crisis centers, individuals, and other entities committed to ending sexual violence; 1215 K. St., Suite 1850, Sacramento; (916) 446-2520
- Cooperative Restraining Order Clinic (CROC): Provides services to San Francisco victims of domestic violence who need help obtaining a restraining order; (415) 864-1790 (office), (415) 255-0165 (CROC appointments); multiple languages spoken
- National Institute of Justice: Intimate Partner Violence page, provides information and resources
- San Francisco District Attorney's Office: The Family Violence Project (main: 415-553-9044; business: 415-553-1865) serves victims of domestic and family violence; those who have experienced domestic violence may also get assistance from the Office for Victims of Crime
- U.S. Department of Education, Office for Civil Rights: Ensures equal access to education by serving student populations facing discrimination and the advocates and institutions promoting systemic solutions to civil rights problems; Bay Area regional office: 50 Beale St., Suite 7200, San Francisco; (415) 486-5555 (TDD), (877) 521-2172; national office: (800) 872-5327
- U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Violence Against Women: Provides federal leadership in developing the national capacity to reduce violence against women and administer justice for and strengthen services to victims of domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking
- VictimConnect Resource Center: Serving victims of various violent crimes, including domestic violence; provides information and resources through a help line (855-4-VICTIM) or online chat in English or Spanish between noon and 5 pm EST (9 am to 2 pm Pacific Time).
- Victim of Crime Resource Center: Located on the Pacific McGeorge School of Law campus in Sacramento, the Center operates the State of California’s confidential, toll-free 1-800-VICTIMS line; McGeorge students, under attorney supervision, provide information and referrals statewide to victims, their families, victim service providers, and victim advocates
- Victim Services Division (San Francisco District Attorney’s Office): Helps victims of crime mitigate the trauma of crime, navigate the criminal justice system, and rebuild their lives; 850 Bryant Street, Suite 320, San Francisco; (415) 553-9044; Monday–Friday 8 a.m.–5 p.m. (call for available intake times)
Support for Male Survivors
- Male Survivor: Organization that provides personalized support for men at every stage of the healing process from domestic violence; information, resources, and online support
- Asian Women's Shelter: Shelter for Asian women, children, and transgender survivors of domestic violence and human trafficking, especially those who are immigrants and refugees. Languages: multiple Asian languages spoken; (415) 751-0880 (crisis); (877) 751-0880 (crisis); (415) 751-7110 (office); 3543 18th Street, #19, San Francisco
- La Casa de las Madres: (877) 503-1850 (24-hour crisis line), 1269 Howard Street, San Francisco; support for victims of domestic violence; shelter
- Riley's Center: (415) 977-1270, 1175 Howard Street, San Francisco; services for victims of domestic violence, including shelters, counseling, workshops, and advocacy
- A Safe Place: Emergency shelter services, counseling, teen dating violence prevention, and other resources and services; (510) 536-7233 (crisis); (510) 986-8600 (office); Oakland
- A Call To Men: Prevents violence toward women and girls, educates on manhood and male socialization
- Center for Disease Control and Prevention Intimate Partner Violence: Information and resources around intimate partner violence, including teen dating violence
- Dating Violence: A College Campus Concern (article on dating violence and how to address it)
- InCharge Debt Solutions: (800) 565-8953; counseling around credit card debt, housing, bankruptcy and other financial issues affecting domestic violence survivors
- INCITE! Women of Color Against Violence: A network of radical feminists of color an allies organizing to end violence in homes and communities
- Men Can Stop Rape: Mobilizes men to use their strength for creating cultures free from violence, especially men's violence against women
- My Strength Campaign: A project of the California Coalition Against Sexual Assault to raise awareness of sexual violence among youth and highlight the vital role that young men can play in fostering healthy, safe relationships
- National Resource Center on Domestic Violence: Help and resources for those experiencing domestic violence, (800) 537-2238; also visit www.vawnet.org for resources on gender-based violence
- Office on Women's Health, U.S. Department of Health & Human Services: Information and resources related to abuse and violence